A whole lotta Aerosmith

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A whole lotta Aerosmith

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You know you're an obsessed Aerosmith fan when.....

You have every Aerosmith album, even a few doubles, "just in case".

You have a scarf somewhere in your room. You have a few that resemble Steven's and you even have a mic-stand to put it on!

You'd rather have a Les Paul than a car.

You know all lyrics by heart. *For drummers, you know the loops, bassists, you know the bass lines, and the guitarists, your know both the lead and rhythm beats)

You own copies of "Walk This Way" the autobiography, in hard edition and paperback.

You get offended when people consider Aerosmith one person.

You have a different Aerosmith t-shirt for every day of the week.

Getting backstage passes is more important to you than paying your bills.

Your AOL screename and/our E-mail address contain some sort of Aerosmith related word in it.

You call yourself *insert name here* Tyler.

You can do Steven's handspring.

You can scat like Steven, or try to.

You quote Aerosmith/Steven or a song of their's at least twice within every hour.

You jump around your house prentending to be Steven.

You drive people crazy, constantly answering with "Wkakakkakkaka!!!!"

You grow out your hair to the lenght of Steven's.

You don't care what anyone else say's, you KNOW that Aerosmith is the greatest band ever.

You have an Aerosmith tattoo.

You can name all the songs with the lyric "you got the right key baby, but the wrong keyhole".

You know when you will see Steven and the boys on television, heck, you knew about that 4 weeks ago!!

You know what decade was what, in Aerosmith history.

You can name the Aerosmith albums in order.

The radio station hates you because you constantly call, begging for tickets and backstage passes.

You try to shop for clothes simliar to the boy's. You might even ask for custom made clothes just so you can walk around in similar stuff.

You paint a black stripe down your fingernails. When asked why you do that, you just smile and start singing "Dream On" or "Sweet Emotion".

You know the meaning and reasons behind their songs and explain it to those who don't.

You moved to Boston.

You have a 10-inched knife, and named it "Big 10 Inch", just like Steven.

If you have a tattoo, you got it at the same place Steven did.

For Halloween, you and 4 friends dress up like Aerosmith.

You have pets named after Aerosmith or something Aerosmith related.

You named your children after one of the guys.

You have a wall dedicated to the band.

You wake up to the sounds of Aerosmith.

You own the Aerosmith movie collection. You can recite it too!

You only date people who like Aerosmith.

You don't like to wear shoes often, you'd rather be barefoot, like Steven!

You have performed an Aerosmith song infront of people... you even dressed the part.

Your phone number contains digits related to Aerosmith. (the last four numbers being a year of birth)

You created wallpaper out of Steven Tyler "Got Milk?" ads.

You own some of their records in vinyl.

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Tyler Dreams On (Rolling Stones Article)

Aerosmith's main man on Janis, coke and two willing girls in Michigan

Early next year, Aerosmith will release Honkin' on Bobo, which, in addition to being a sexual reference, is an album of covers of classics by bluesmen such as Blind Willie McTell and Sonny Boy Williamson. "We wanted to do a blues album five years ago," says Aerosmith's Steven Tyler, 55. "Then Clapton did it, and it blew our novel concept right out of the tree." Aerosmith will preview a couple of these tunes on Rocksimus Maximus, their thirty-six-date co-headlining summer tour with Kiss. "With Pakistan and North Korea, the world's going to hell in a handbasket," Tyler says from his home outside Boston. "But Kiss and Aerosmith are gonna prove that two superpowers can make it together."

Growing up, what were you listening to on the radio?

In 1956, I got a little radio and ran the wire up to the top of the apple tree in New Hampshire. On those crisp New England nights, I picked up stations in Florida and WOWO from Fort Wayne, Indiana -- stations that were just playing country & western -- and a station in New Orleans, which played the Everly Brothers and a bunch of weird stuff.

Who are your favorite white blues singers?

I'd have to say Johnny Winter. Pound for pound, he kicks major ass. Then there's Stevie Ray Vaughan and Janis Joplin. I saw her -- I think it was at the White Plains [New York] civic center. I came out of the concert and listened to people talking in the parking lot. It was such a spiritual rock & roll come-together-type thing. I remember thinking, "That's it, man. That's what I want to do." Y'know, we actually toured with the Beach Boys back then.

And the Byrds, right? What odd pairings.

What about Kiss and Aerosmith? What about Jimi Hendrix and the Monkees? We're all a bunch of carnies, man. But tickets are selling like crazy, whereas Lollapalooza isn't. It's like foreplay: You start with a Kiss and end with Aerosmith.

What was your first impression of Kiss when they broke onto the scene in 1972?

I didn't know what to think. It was kinda hard to see them through all the makeup, y'know? It was a comic-book thing. Then we toured with them. We must have played two or three shows before one of their road crew pulled a knife on ours. Then we said sayonara. But back then, it was all about who could blow who offstage.

So you blew them off?

You always like to think you did.

Have Aerosmith ever been blown off?

Yeah, before I was married, by two girls: Missy and Charla from Michigan.

Looking out into an audience, what's the most amazing thing you've seen?

Someone waving a wooden leg. The girl with three tits, or two girls making out. Six-year-olds, sixty-year-olds. People watching Joe Perry with their jaw open. On the last tour, we went out with a long ramp so I could run way out into the crowd. I like to get out there amongst the sweat and the babies being born and people getting fucked up. All the good stuff.

Why does cocaine seem to fuel great records?

Drugs get you out of your own way and help you get to another side of yourself. You just don't want to get caught up doing them all the time, because then you lose the original force of creativity. I wrote a lot of great songs high, and I wrote better ones sober.

What, in your opinion, does rock & roll smell like?

Stale beer, cigarettes, pot and cheap perfume.

Was it an easy decision to license Aerosmith songs for commercial use?

Of course. What am I going to do, tell you that I'm Bob Dylan and that my songs are so credible that they can never sell a Buick? A song is a song. Once they come out of your body, they get to live the life they want to. It's not selling out.

What's your favorite young band?

I've had my head under the covers for a long time, but I'm big on the White Stripes. And I'm big on Radiohead. They're great live.

Dylan has been in the news for cribbing lyrics from a Japanese novel. Every great songwriter pinches a line here or there, right?

You betcha. Amateurs borrow, pros steal. As John Lennon said, and I believe he got it from the Indian Sanskrit readings the Upanishads, there's not a word that's never been said and not a sound that's never been heard. I mean, I stole "The light at the end of the tunnel may be you" [in "Amazing"]. Some guy wrote that in a book, and I stole it.

You're fifty-five. How old is too old to be a rock star?

How long are you going to jerk off? Till it doesn't feel good anymore.

AUSTIN SCAGGS
(July 29, 2003)

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